1. DO NOT END IT! The worst thing any director can do to their film is offer any sense of conclusion whatsover. I know it sounds sketchy, but so long as you say you're 'leaving it open to interpretation' people will mistake your laziness for genius. Trust me, it works every time!
2. Don't stop at leaving just one plotline unfinished! The more the merrier, introduce as many intriguing, entirely unrelated plots as you can, publicly swear on your life that they're all related, and laugh heartily as people scramble to figure out how it all connects! Always a gas!
3. Anybody can throw a bunch of stupid random things together at the end of a movie and seem artsy, but YOU'RE different. You have the midas touch when it comes to cinematic non sequitur and your fans know it. Old people crawling out of paper bags?! It's so genius. SO genius. I'm gonna start fingering myself now.
4. Want to throw in some tasteless lesbian nude scenes? Normally these would be dismissed as tacky and useless, but so long as you have a long running reputation as a 'genius' film director they'll be seen as 'artful' and 'a metaphor'
5. Worried that people will see through your countless filmmaking bluffs? Never fear! Your army of devoted fans will mercilessly attack everyone who dares to bash your masterpiece as being artless neanderthals.
Well, now you're on your way to becoming a genius film director. Hopefully this guide has given you a look inside the mind of some of film's greatest minds, as well as some ideas of your own! See you at Cannes, maestro!
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1. DO NOT END IT! The worst thing any director can do to their film is offer any sense of conclusion whatsover. I know it sounds sketchy, but so long as you say you're 'leaving it open to interpretation' people will mistake your laziness for genius. Trust me, it works every time!
2. Don't stop at leaving just one plotline unfinished! The more the merrier, introduce as many intriguing, entirely unrelated plots as you can, publicly swear on your life that they're all related, and laugh heartily as people scramble to figure out how it all connects! Always a gas!
3. Anybody can throw a bunch of stupid random things together at the end of a movie and seem artsy, but YOU'RE different. You have the midas touch when it comes to cinematic non sequitur and your fans know it. Old people crawling out of paper bags?! It's so genius. SO genius. I'm gonna start fingering myself now.
4. Want to throw in some tasteless lesbian nude scenes? Normally these would be dismissed as tacky and useless, but so long as you have a long running reputation as a 'genius' film director they'll be seen as 'artful' and 'a metaphor'
5. Worried that people will see through your countless filmmaking bluffs? Never fear! Your army of devoted fans will mercilessly attack everyone who dares to bash your masterpiece as being artless neanderthals.
Well, now you're on your way to becoming a genius film director. Hopefully this guide has given you a look inside the mind of some of film's greatest minds, as well as some ideas of your own! See you at Cannes, maestro!
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