Pizza Tower

the first game to sell a pizzillion copies

10/10 game

It's rare to have a game this good. I mean truly and fully good. Controls, aesthetic, humor, design, gameplay, characters, replay value, challenge, music, sound design, it's all working together cohesively. They all interact and converse with every action and inaction. I love it so much, genuinely a game like this is so exciting and an amazing start to 2023 for games. The bar is in heaven, folks.

I would say for the longest when it came to platformers I would always prefer a 3-D platform over a 2-D one. Games like Mario Sunshine, the Sly series, and A Hat in Time rank are my bread and butter and rank as some of my favorite games of all time. In recent memory, the script has started to flip with games such as Celeste and Ori and the Blind Forest where I’ve learned to appreciate the ingenuity needed to really flesh out a 2-D space and make it interesting. Then Pizza Tower entered and knocked it up a notch by rushing down my preconceived notions and comboing them out of existence. Pizza Tower exceeds my expectations and then some.

Almost every facet of the game works to create a truly unique 90s-esque action-packed platformer like no other I’ve played before. A normal run through the game is honestly pretty breezy with levels not penalizing you too harshly for messing up. It is not until you go for the higher ranks and the coveted P rank that the game shows its true colors. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a platformer design better speed-running levels than this game. While I haven't P ranked all the levels, I found it incredibly satisfying to slowly memorize each level down to the minute detail in order to optimize a perfect run. It’s amazing how through this learning process you see how every part of the level is designed so that you can run through it at maximum speed. On a normal run, you might question why there is a specific layout or random enemy placements but a perfect run uses each aspect to create a brutal challenge where a single mistake could cost you the highest rank.

Now, normally when I play games I rarely feel the need to achieve the highest ranks as I never felt satisfied replaying sections of a game over and over again often losing time in the process. Pizza Tower’s quick and snappy gameplay and lack of a health bar allow the player to take their time to learn the layouts of each level. The learning curve is extremely generous and even after playing a level two or three times, you will find yourself generating ideal routes and executing them perfectly. Whenever I wasn’t playing the game I was planning these routes in my head and itching to test them out. It's hard to describe the feeling I get when attempting these perfect runs. The bated breaths, sweaty palms, and hyper fixation all culminate in some of the most satisfying gameplay I've ever experienced.

Outside of the gameplay, the art style and soundtrack of the game work extremely to create a style so wacky and cartoony that it would not be out of place in the cartoon pantheon. Every sound bit, wacky tune, or funny scream has been bouncing around my head since I've beaten it, and even as I am writing this review I have one of the tracks stuck in my head. Even the simple act of attacking an enemy has such a clear crunchy sound associated with it that increases the satisfaction of the action tenfold. Of the three-hour soundtrack, almost every track does a good job of adding momentum to the level often including a crescendo point at which point the track changes to its second variant. Whenever this happens when I am playing it's hard for me not to get giddy.

There are so many other things I feel I could talk about. The great boss fights, especially the final boss, the genuinely hilarious comedy, fun secrets, and even the oddly terrifying horror segments. I feel this game is one of those once-in-a-blue-moon games that accomplishes everything it sets out to do while also setting a new standard for 2-D platformers. It’s a game that only makes me happy whenever I think about it and also demands my attention whenever I try to play something else. Pizza Tower is one of the most fun games I have ever played and one I can see myself coming back to time and time again.

P.S. I am glad this game ended the age-old debate “does pineapple belong on pizza?” with a very discernable YES.

Pizza Tower is polished to near-perfection. It has a wonderful soundtrack, zany animations, lots of movement options, and a wacky sense of a humor that constantly puts a smile on my face. To quote my friend ValorEtc, "It's like a Sonic the Hedgehog [ソニックザヘッジホッグ] game, if Sonic games actually wanted you to go fast. I've rarely felt so good as when I'm being fast and deeply Italian."

My only gripes are minor; I felt like some of the art design for the levels (backgrounds, platforms, etc.) was a bit lacking compared to that of Wario Land's.
Plus, I wish Peppino was slightly bigger on the screen.
Also, some of the boss fights didn't gel well with me. Some of the bosses felt a bit spammy, but maybe I just gotta y'know, git gud.

Regardless it's already my contender for 2023 G.OT.Y.