Duke Nukem

Let me hit you with a potentially hot and spicy assessment right off the bat. Duke Nukem is a good game. Actually, potentially bordering on being a REALLY good game. Granted, looking at it through the lens of 2022 may not immediately make this seem apparent. It's ancient, after all. The sound effects are garbled and grating, the graphics are simplistic and sometimes nonsensical, and there seems to be little actual variety upon first glance. Give me a moment to try and win you over on Duke Nukem.

The immediate elephant in the room is how very unlike Duke Nukem this really is. No signature shades, no babes, no crass one liners. This is a truly G rated romp through a cartoon plot. The evil Dr. Proton is going to do something evil, and you have to stop him. The narrative isn't much beyond that, though you do occasionally get humorous messages from the hubristic doctor via his TV's scattered throughout the game. The game is also thematically split between three episodes (a common practice at the time) which helps chop it up into 'arcs' as it were. Earth, the moon, and a time travel arc, if we want to embellish this only slightly.

Of course, beyond window dressing, these don't do much to change what you do in the game, and if you've ever played an Apogee platformer from this era, you know what that is. You run around defeating bad guys and picking up objects to score mondo points. But the shocker here is; it's more fun than it sounds. To the less score-oriented gamer, points may not really seem like they matter, at least not these days. But mark my words, there's something very satisfying about the dopamine release you get when you start racking up 10,000 point bonuses over and over in a secret room.

Built around this simple task of making a number go up is, actually, the very DNA of Duke Nukem. You explore and find keys to explore further. It's very Duke Nukem 3D, albeit in 2D and not nearly as violent. You can even collect gadgets give an almost Metroid feeling (though much more linear) such as grappling gloves and high jump boots. They're not optional, either; but the various blaster upgrades strewn about the levels are, and make for some great surprise finds. The levels themselves are pretty well laid out, too. There are of course a handful of obnoxious ones that seem to copy and paste the same grueling pattern over and over, as well as one or two intense mazes that you're sure to get lost in for some time, but for the most part we have reasonable levels that are a breeze to navigate.

Beyond all this is the unexpected sense of detail. You can't do much with a game of this type and vintage, but if they could, they did. Shiny surfaces reflect not only Duke but other objects above them as well. Fans blow you away slightly and can be demolished. There's even a small detail where if certain drone enemies fly too close to the ground, you can see the air pushing against the ground creating a small little gust effect. Not something I would have expected. There are other small details like these scattered around the game, and every time I noticed one I couldn't help but be impressed.

To seal it all off, it's a relatively laid back game, too. It may seem difficult at first, but trust me on this; slow down. If you're finding the game to be too hard, simply slow way down and approach new areas with care. As long as you pace yourself, the game provides PLENTY of health recovery items to make it through, with only a small amount of guaranteed damage areas in the whole game. Pretty good for 1991, honestly. You can easily breeze through the game in an afternoon if you stay vigilant, and I actually and truly recommend you do. I don't have much nostalgia for this game, but I did play a lot of Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure by Apogee when I was young, and this game VERY much scratches the same itch. So yes, I recommend Duke Nukem if you're looking for something just a little beyond the pale to waste a few hours on.