Ice Climber

This game makes me feel like the ice climber on the level results screen when they fail to complete the bonus stage. It all comes down to the controls, it feels like I'm playing with Mario Bros. physics outside of the game it was designed for. It is probably the worst Nintendo NES platformer and there's several alternatives on that same system that are much more fun.

Released in 1985 by Nintendo, Ice Climber stands as a relic from the NES era, introducing players to the frosty escapades of Popo and Nana. Unfortunately, this game failed to leave a lasting impression, and it becomes apparent why the Ice Climber didn't become a recurring feature in Nintendo's lineup.

The controls are a major stumbling block in Ice Climber, proving to be a significant source of frustration. Navigating the frozen landscapes feels clunky and imprecise, making precision movements a challenge. In comparison to contemporaries like Mario, Ice Climber falls woefully short in terms of responsive and intuitive controls. The limited capabilities of the NES may excuse some issues, but the disparity between games of the same era is glaring.

While acknowledging the limitations of the time, it's hard to ignore the repetitive nature of Ice Climber's level design. The game offers 32 levels, but the sense of monotony sets in early on. The challenges presented lack the variety needed to keep players engaged, and the overall experience becomes a tedious climb rather than an exciting adventure.

Ice Climber for the NES, while a notable piece of gaming history, struggles to find its footing among the gems of the era. With subpar controls, repetitive level design, and a lack of engagement, this frosty expedition might only resonate with die-hard retro enthusiasts or those seeking a challenge for nostalgia's sake. For most players, retiring this game early on seems like a reasonable decision, leaving the Ice Climber to rest in the archives of Nintendo's past.

What if the funny vertical platformer with fast moving, tiny platforms also had some of the most comically terrible jump physics of all time?

This is why I'm so passionately pro-brass knuckles.

Super Smash Bros. has always been about putting as many characters from Nintendo’s backlog into the fray. This way, the lost and the damned of Nintendo’s history could get a chance to be among the greats. I can’t think of more forsaken Nintendo characters than the Ice Climbers, characters so menial that starting up Super Smash Bros. Melee and seeing them in the character select menu garners a resounding “Who?!” from everyone. Even Mr. Game and Watch had more notoriety than these poor saps. Alas, they do have a legitimate place in Nintendo’s history, as minuscule as it might be.

The Ice Climbers are characters from a 1985 arcade game that predates the NES/Famicom by a few months. It was ported with the NES when the console launched and was among the early titles of the NES like Excitebike, Balloon Fighter, etc. Like those games, Ice Climber is a simple game with a simple premise. Two color-coded Eskimos named Popo, the blue one, and Nana, the not blue one (come to think of it, these characters are so paltry that I think they were given these names when Melee was released) climb a mountain and try to get to the top. Along the way, they encounter hostile creatures like wooly creatures referred to as Topis, birds, and even polar bears. Luckily, the climbers are equipped with a hammer to whack these enemies away. The very top of the mountain acts as a bonus stage where the climbers are timed to jump into the talons of a Condor pacing back and forth at the peak. Various temperate vegetables like eggplants, mushrooms, lettuce, etc. can be acquired for bonus points.

Being a 21st century kid that grew up with 3D games with bigger narratives, these simple points-driven games on the NES never really held my attention. In saying this, there is still a lot fundamentally wrong with Ice Climber. To ascend further up the mountain, the player has to break the barrier above them brick by brick by jumping. Every brick except for the icy bars at the top can be broken to make a passageway, and thank god because aiming for one is incredibly imprecise. The jumping control in this game is god awful. Popo feels fluid when he moves normally, but he jumps so rigidly you’d think he shits his pants in mid-air. Considering the objective is climbing the mountain by jumping, this puts a gigantic damper on the game as a whole. One would think a simple game wouldn’t have problems in the controls department, but one that does makes the game almost unplayable.

It should be noted that the player only plays as Popo. Nana is confined to the second player in co-op mode. They don’t have a Mario and Luigi relationship, but more like Sonic and Tails with both characters sharing the same screen simultaneously. The second player is insignificant as whenever they die, it’s inconsequential. When Popo dies, it’s the end of the line. I thought this brand of blatant sexism came from Super Smash Bros. Melee as the Ice Climbers fight with that same dynamic. I guess I can rest easy knowing that this was just a nod to how things worked in their game, but it still doesn’t work. Why can’t the two players compete with each other to climb the mountain? Why would this task be a cooperative effort if one player is totally supporting the other? Dragging another person up this mountain with the horrendous jumping controls sounds like a form of frigid hell.

After debuting in the arcades and providing supplementary material for the early days of the NES, Ice Climber never really returned. There were no sequels and no revival franchise like Nintendo decided to do with Donkey Kong. Ice Climber was just a flash in the pan in gaming, and that’s putting it generously. Their one game, this mediocre, poorly executed vertical platformer, explains why they were proverbially left on the frosty mountain peak to be buried away by time. It almost makes me wonder why Nintendo decided to put them in Super Smash Bros. as early as its second entry. At least I like them there. I was even disheartened when they were omitted from the fourth game.

Entretenido como angustioso.

La forma en como saltan lentamente de una plataforma a otra y que no le atines y te vas rápidamente al fondo es una perfecta definición de estrés.