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The Procession to Calvary

Developer: Joe Richardson Publishers: Joe RichardsonSUPERHOT
09 April 2020
The Procession to Calvary - cover art
Images [2]
Glitchwave rating
3.53 / 5.0
0.5
5.0
 
 
45 Ratings /
#2,674 All-time
#66 for 2020
Genres
Point-and-click adventure#81 Absurdist comedy#58 Historical#120
Influences
Satire
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Releases 6
Filter by: All 6 Android 1 iOS 1 Linux/Unix 1 Mac 1 PS4 1 Windows 1 Xbox One 1 Switch 1 XSX 1
The Procession to Calvary
2020 • Joe Richardson SUPERHOT  
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The Procession to Calvary
2020 • Joe Richardson  
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The Procession to Calvary
2020 • Joe Richardson Games  
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The Procession to Calvary
2021 • Joe Richardson Nephilim  
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The Procession to Calvary
2021 • Joe Richardson Nephilim  
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The Procession to Calvary
2021 • Joe Richardson Nephilim  
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Language: All My languages 0
Title
It's just bad. I find it difficult to find any redeeming factors for this game. It gets one point, solely because I'd like to reserve 0.5 points for games that are bad in more offensive ways.

TPTC is a point-and-click puzzle game, and unfortunately, the puzzles are for the most part bad. I won't go into any specifics, but - mixing "lolsorandom" humor with "you have to perform this action to succeed" rarely turns out well. Solutions are frequently nonsensical, obtuse, and wildly fluctuate in difficulty from "basically solves itself" to "get a guide lmao".

Having all characters be cutouts from famous paintings is funny, for maybe twenty minutes. At this point, the gag wears thin, and you're starting to realize why proper studios pay so much for actual sprites. Like, can we get a protagonist with more than one facial expression? Please?

And then, of course, the humor. Ugh. It's like a time capsule from 2011 - the aforementioned "lolsorandom" humor, pointless gross-outs, feeble "are you offended yet, dumb xtians???" fedora jokes, and every single character being a caricature with zero depth or emotions. There are maybe two or three good jokes in this game, and for your sake, I won't spoil any residual entertainment you might gain from playing this game.

TPTC is fairly short and can easily be completed in a single afternoon. I'm not complaining.
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mdvs 2023-09-18T22:00:32Z
2023-09-18T22:00:32Z
1.0
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It's complicated to rate such a witty, stupidly funny and briliantly well written game, when most of its content is hidden in such a obnoxious, outdated and silly pixel hunting. But the bad ending is worth tho. I recommed you to play as you wish in the first playtrought and then search for a guide to complete the actual game here.
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eu_from_everglow 2022-05-04T05:58:02Z
2022-05-04T05:58:02Z
3.5
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Title
PL: Wizualnie i muzycznie pieści zmysły. Niestety w pozostałych kwestiach to wczesny postmodernizm, wyryty choćby przez Monty Pythona. Śmiechom nie było końca :)
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Szugob 2021-11-22T19:52:40Z
2021-11-22T19:52:40Z
2.5
1
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Catalog

Sort by: Date Rating Plays
Filter by: All 78 Owned 29 Rated 45 Wanted 25
jake84 The Procession to Calvary 2024-04-21T21:34:53Z
2024-04-21T21:34:53Z
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Dayface The Procession to Calvary 2024-04-08T16:05:52Z
2024-04-08T16:05:52Z
4.0
1
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
42and7 The Procession to Calvary 2024-03-18T10:15:19Z
2024-03-18T10:15:19Z
71
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Steam
PrayforSake The Procession to Calvary 2024-01-13T23:50:05Z
2024-01-13T23:50:05Z
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
DJSuleiman The Procession to Calvary 2023-12-29T14:29:16Z
Xbox One / XSX
2023-12-29T14:29:16Z
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Zackauz The Procession to Calvary 2023-12-24T19:52:57Z
2023-12-24T19:52:57Z
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
slepysledz The Procession to Calvary 2023-12-20T17:05:09Z
2023-12-20T17:05:09Z
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Slomuk The Procession to Calvary 2023-12-20T06:54:58Z
2023-12-20T06:54:58Z
3.5
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
buddysnatcher The Procession to Calvary 2023-12-18T22:04:31Z
2023-12-18T22:04:31Z
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
cityofleeches The Procession to Calvary 2023-11-30T18:04:17Z
2023-11-30T18:04:17Z
3.0
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
LocoJake The Procession to Calvary 2023-11-09T20:30:35Z
2023-11-09T20:30:35Z
2.5
1
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Fet The Procession to Calvary 2023-10-30T17:18:45Z
Windows / Mac / Linux/Unix
2023-10-30T17:18:45Z
4.5
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Images [2]
Player modes
Single-player
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Franchises
The Immortal John Triptych

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  • Jaymclayn 2022-10-29 21:27:09.93572+00
    Thought this game was loads of fun. It’s simplicity makes me feel like I should have given a lower review score (4.5/5) but it’s so funny and charming that it’s hard not to love
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