Pokémon Alpha Sapphire

These games are remakes of Ruby and Sapphire, so if your fondest Hoenn memories were from Emerald, you're likely to be disappointed.
Luckily for me, I'm a hopeless contrarian who always liked R/S better than Emerald.

People also complain about the experience share and the fact that you're just straight-up given Latios/Latias, but they don't seem to understand that the experience share can be turned off and that the legendary can just be thrown into the box immediately.


No, if we're going to complain, let's complain about what actually sucks about these remakes. Note that my rating is still a 4, so I still really enjoyed the game.


In Generation III, the design of the Hoenn region was insanely clever. The backtracking is handled in just such a way that your first playthrough will likely have one crucial mistake that is 100% intended.

After Meteor Falls, your first idea will be to head to the other side of the cave and see what lies beyond. You exit the cave, battle some trainers, and hop down a ledge. Then you realise - oh fuck - you're back in Rustboro City, hours earlier in the game, with no way back but the long way. But, oh wait! There was a tunnel to the east of Rustboro! You've got rock smash, so you smash the boulders and get the strength HM you'll need later. They've funnelled you back to where you need to be.
And if that wasn't enough, when you start the trek back, you'll notice that the door to the cable car is no longer blocked off, so you can see your next destination right away.
It's absolutely brilliant game design that is thrown out in favour of Brendan just handing you the strength HM, and offering to take you back to Mauville City. Except, this doesn't work. If you're taken all the way back to Mauville, you'll likely search to the east, west, or south of Mauville, considering that Brendan just took you from the north. A new player could very easily get lost here, assuming that the north leads to nothing when in fact the opposite is true.


In the originals, after Norman's gym, you were given a choice of many different routes to get to your next objective. You could take one of two shortcuts; surfing east on route 103, or heading back through Rustboro Tunnel. You could also loop around southward, participating in many more trainer battles and gaining valuable experience.
In OR/AS, Wally takes you back to Mauville. You do not get a choice in the matter. He grabs you by the hand and drags you kicking and screaming. You want to get experience by going southward? Too bad, Wally time. You always talk to your friend at the front of the gym after beating the leaders? Too bad, Wally time.


The most ridiculous thing they added in OR/AS, however, is the Delta Episode.
It's a glorified fetch quest, where you run back and forth doing what ends up amounting to nothing in the end anyway.
The main focus of this episode is a new character named Zinnia, the most annoying and poorly-written character in the series, which is an achievement after Generation V.

When you first meet Zinnia, she is standing outside your house acting extremely suspicious, asking about Brendan. Then you talk to Brendan, and his mega bracelet has been stolen. Major red flag, right? Nope. You meet Zinnia again in a cave and just let her go on her merry little way. La la la la la.
The point of the episode is to stop a meteor from destroying Hoenn. Luckily, the scientists have created a device that will make the meteor just disappear. They've got the button in their hands when good old Zinnia shows up, grabs the button, and smashes it on the ground. No one tries to stop her. Certainly not you or Steven Stone, the two strongest trainers in Hoenn.
Why did she do it? Well, there might maybe be an alternate version of Hoenn somewhere and maybe the device could possibly transport the meteor to that Hoenn that may or may not exist, destroying it, because they might not have the same technology there. Maybe. Possibly. Who knows? Everyone in the room naturally accepts her explanation and you're off to find Rayquaza who may or may not show up, and may or may not be able to stop the meteor if you feed him enough mega stones that you may or may not have, then make him listen to you, which he may or may not do.
Once you've stopped the meteor, Zinnia just goes on her merry way. She doesn't get in any trouble at all and life is just peachy.
Fuck you.