Apparently it's a psycho move to play as Mario. Literally 1984
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This game ruined my social life, looks like shit, and caused a lot of broken equipment. Despite all of that it's still the best game I've ever played.
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Mario Kart Wii is quite similar to the DS version in the sense that you have the usual tournaments which feature brand new tracks plus some other tournaments which feature a nostalgic trip through previous Mario Kart tracks. Some of the tracks are a strange choice. You have Mario Circuit from the Gamecube which was a great track, but one of the new tracks is a simplistic version of it. Also from the Gamecube is DK Mountain which is similar to a new track which features a slalom ski slope.
As far as the roster is concerned, Rosalina from the Mario Galaxy series is included, as well as Baby Peach, and finally your own Mii character. There are standard old-school karts to drive as well as weird and wonderful karts like the ones in the Mario Kart DS and Double Dash.
Also available are Bikes which was a bit of a shock, given that they aren't karts but add an interesting and new touch. Bikes can't power-slide and boost as effectively as karts, but you can pull wheelies on straights which give you a speed boost, as does pulling tricks off ramps. Whilst pulling a wheelie, you have lack of steering and can also be slowed down when hit as your racer is thrown off balance.
The amount of karts per race has increased from 8 to 12 and everyone seems more closely bunched together which makes for a crazier race. This makes the races more frantic and a couple of seconds means the difference between 1st and 8th but sadly this happens more down to luck rather than skill. The amount of weapons targeting the leader or all racers is high; be it POW Blocks, Lightening or Leader Shells, then the standard weapons of green shells, red shells and bananas. There sure are plenty of items to be hit with, and since there are more karts on the road, this has increased the quantity of weapons flying round by a high amount. Even though it was a good idea to increase the amount of karts on paper; it has ruined the balance of weapons and I believe the chances of items like leader shells should have been lowered significantly.
Mario Kart still provided the usual fun in both single player and multi-player, but you will often find yourself shouting at the TV in frustration, and wonder how Nintendo can justify putting yourself (a seasoned Mario Kart veteran) in 8th place despite power-sliding and boosting round the corners and firing perfectly timed weapons at your rivals.
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Its basically Mario Kart but on the Wii. It doesn't really add enough from the previous games, it has okay new maps, and of course it adds a few new characters and power ups but nothing too special. Yeah I guess if you never played Mario Kart on Gamecube this would be the essential version, but it really is just an average Kart game at best.
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Immediately after establishing a great single-player template, Mario Kart would go right back to only offering the grand prix for a campaign, and as the level of progression gets more linear, it only further exposes Mario Kart's problems as a franchise. For whatever reason, this is where the power-ups would be the most frustrating, with some Wii-specific gimmicks and a bike mode that would yet to be worthwhile shutting the door on my positive impressions of this entry. Some ho-hum classic inclusions and frustrating new designs don't improve things, but at least the Wii is similarly handled to tackle split-screen just fine.
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Super Mario Kart and Mario Kart 64 are classic masterpieces. Every single square-inch, including the incredible old-school Mario music retains the magical dreamland Mario atmosphere far grander than the equally amazing Advance, DS, Cubed and Wii. They're too busy, silly and different and don’t truly feel like Mario Kart. The classics are refreshingly simpler and have a sense of maturity. You don’t get any more Mario Kart than this. This is Mario Kart.
Double Dash!! is just one big silly playground. And the character selection is diluted with a massive pile of water-a-hippopotamus diarrhea. Why Daisy, Baby Mario and Baby Luigi when there’s Peach, Mario and Luigi. Diddy Kong and Birdo never came from Mario. Remember Toadette from before, I sure don’t. And why the fuck are there two random bosses. Look how much longer it takes to select Wario. What a pointless, minuscule inconvenience not even worth mentioning. All we need is Mario, Luigi, Wario, Bowser, Yoshi and Peach that’s it. Eh, maybe Waluigi. Even Koopa Kong and Junior Boy aren’t really that important. There’s a nice variety of karts but once you get the gold one, the rest are useless so what’s the point. And if Wario is humping the car, who’s steering? The Delfinos are assholes and never belonged in the Mario universe. Baby Park is way too small and should’ve been a battle stage instead. And you know what’s really annoying? Why must everything have a face, look at the trees. Is this Mario Kart or Kirby’s Dream Land? There’s the giant pink arch that looks like a giant pink DICK. And isn’t it a coincidence that the map is also dick-shaped at the exact same time? It’s the Little Mermaid all over again times two in a row. How did this happen? Were they looking at porn magazines while making this game. What a load of bouncing grasshopper shit. This is Mario Kart for fucking out loud. Like a nerd always said, “What were they thinking?”
Mario Kart Wii’s a social tea party and there has never been so many pointless characters. Like we don’t need Rosalina, Daisy, Baby Daisy, Baby Peach and even Pauline cause Peach is by far the best, so all Mario needs is her. Why are all the characters so shiny, it looks like they’re covered with wax. Hey, I wonder. What a bunch of squirrel fuck-nuts. The Miis belong in Wii Sports, not Mario Kart. But no they just had to barge their way here like in Brawl and Galaxy. Some of the magic is instantly destroyed by the presence of these Fisher-Price toys. And the mall music makes matters worse. It’s like laughing at me with those stupid knees. Now look at this, Delfinos and Miis at the same time. It’s like mixing piss and shit in a blender. And what the crap is this doing in Mario Kart. Seriously, what the shit is this doing in Mario Kart. Look at how annoyingly out of place they are stupidly driving back and forth for no reason at all. Even worse, you can actually race them too. Is this Mario Kart, or Wii Kart dammit. Some classics courses return fully revamped and refreshed, Like Peach BITCH. More like Peach’s Fantasy Dickland. But the best are the Mario Kart 64 revisions. Look how the sunlight behind the oval clouds in the dreamlike background shines over the simplicity of the reflective ice while the incredible dreamlike music plays and the classic Mario Kart flag approach from the distance. This is magic. This is fucking Mario Kart. This is how it should all be like.
Yoshi, you ignoramus. Ah, Junior Boy, you ignorant anus. Ah, crappers and cheese, I said crappers and cheese Well now I’m fucked. At least you’re coming down with me Toad. WHY? I’m gonna get to you. WHAT! Wario, I’ve got a present for you. Oh no. Oh Shit. Here’s a shortcut. Ah, so much for my shortcut. FUCK! Greg rabbit. Woah woah WOAH, okay you know what stop stop. NO! Perfect timing. What gotta fight the current gotta fight the current come on come on come on. Oh I'm a goner DAMMIT! Penguin pile of POOP! Come on come on come on come on. YAHOO! Son of a bitch you stupid Mii, you just had to ruin the ending didn’t you imagine if, never mind.
Double Dash!! is just one big silly playground. And the character selection is diluted with a massive pile of water-a-hippopotamus diarrhea. Why Daisy, Baby Mario and Baby Luigi when there’s Peach, Mario and Luigi. Diddy Kong and Birdo never came from Mario. Remember Toadette from before, I sure don’t. And why the fuck are there two random bosses. Look how much longer it takes to select Wario. What a pointless, minuscule inconvenience not even worth mentioning. All we need is Mario, Luigi, Wario, Bowser, Yoshi and Peach that’s it. Eh, maybe Waluigi. Even Koopa Kong and Junior Boy aren’t really that important. There’s a nice variety of karts but once you get the gold one, the rest are useless so what’s the point. And if Wario is humping the car, who’s steering? The Delfinos are assholes and never belonged in the Mario universe. Baby Park is way too small and should’ve been a battle stage instead. And you know what’s really annoying? Why must everything have a face, look at the trees. Is this Mario Kart or Kirby’s Dream Land? There’s the giant pink arch that looks like a giant pink DICK. And isn’t it a coincidence that the map is also dick-shaped at the exact same time? It’s the Little Mermaid all over again times two in a row. How did this happen? Were they looking at porn magazines while making this game. What a load of bouncing grasshopper shit. This is Mario Kart for fucking out loud. Like a nerd always said, “What were they thinking?”
Mario Kart Wii’s a social tea party and there has never been so many pointless characters. Like we don’t need Rosalina, Daisy, Baby Daisy, Baby Peach and even Pauline cause Peach is by far the best, so all Mario needs is her. Why are all the characters so shiny, it looks like they’re covered with wax. Hey, I wonder. What a bunch of squirrel fuck-nuts. The Miis belong in Wii Sports, not Mario Kart. But no they just had to barge their way here like in Brawl and Galaxy. Some of the magic is instantly destroyed by the presence of these Fisher-Price toys. And the mall music makes matters worse. It’s like laughing at me with those stupid knees. Now look at this, Delfinos and Miis at the same time. It’s like mixing piss and shit in a blender. And what the crap is this doing in Mario Kart. Seriously, what the shit is this doing in Mario Kart. Look at how annoyingly out of place they are stupidly driving back and forth for no reason at all. Even worse, you can actually race them too. Is this Mario Kart, or Wii Kart dammit. Some classics courses return fully revamped and refreshed, Like Peach BITCH. More like Peach’s Fantasy Dickland. But the best are the Mario Kart 64 revisions. Look how the sunlight behind the oval clouds in the dreamlike background shines over the simplicity of the reflective ice while the incredible dreamlike music plays and the classic Mario Kart flag approach from the distance. This is magic. This is fucking Mario Kart. This is how it should all be like.
Ah, Junior Boy, you ignorant anus.
Ah, crappers and cheese, I said crappers and cheese
Well now I’m fucked. At least you’re coming down with me Toad. WHY?
I’m gonna get to you. WHAT!
Wario, I’ve got a present for you. Oh no. Oh Shit.
Here’s a shortcut. Ah, so much for my shortcut. FUCK!
Greg rabbit.
Woah woah WOAH, okay you know what stop stop. NO!
Perfect timing.
What gotta fight the current gotta fight the current come on come on come on. Oh I'm a goner DAMMIT!
Penguin pile of POOP!
Come on come on come on come on. YAHOO!
Son of a bitch you stupid Mii, you just had to ruin the ending didn’t you imagine if, never mind.