Madagascar [PS2/Xbox/GC]

I was never that big on the film even as a kid, I'm not sure why I ever played this game, but I did and boy howdy is it something I regret wasting large chunks of my childhood on.

While I can't say there anything wrong with this game on a technical level, I can't give it a passing grade either because the gameplay is too primitive even for a less than average tie in game to a popular film. You control as the films four main leads with Alex being the dominant character of the four, although Marty, Mellman and Gloria each get their moments to shine throughout the game even though they all have similar control schemes to each other despite having unique moves that they each learn from stage to stage. The game feels like it came out around the time that banjo Kazooie was new despite that game being almost a decade old when this came out, the graphics might be decent for an Xbox game, however that about all it has going for it as the gameplay is extremely primitive as are the locations in each level which feel like something from a b tier Disney game. I guess it's neat you can tag out the characters in some of the stages to complete certain challenges however this feels like a rip-off if banjo Kazooie and other earlier 3d platformers which makes this little more than a novelty.

The GameCube was my first console, and it was one of the better parts of my childhood. I still vividly remember opening it up on Christmas morning with my sister back in 2005. By then the console was starting to age, and the Wii was just around the corner. All that meant however, was that the games for the system were usually cheap or on sale.

At the time, I had no connection to any of the popular Nintendo games or IP. When my parents would take me to the DVD rental, I would pick out games from movies I had watched. One of these was Madagascar.

Madagascar was my absolute favorite game. There was something about the way it looked and felt to play that made my brain go fucking bananas. I remember one day I didn't do my homework, instead choosing to play Madagascar, and my Dad stormed into the living room and ripped the game from the console and returned it to the store that night.

All these fun memories brings me to today, a broke college student looking to play some games for free and maybe re-live some of those fine memories. I downloaded the ROM, booted it up in Dolphin, and in 5 minutes I realized that Madagascar for the Nintendo GameCube is one of the worst videogames of all time.

The controls are janky as shit, which is so terrible for a 3d platformer. The camera is slow, imprecise, and janky as well. But the worst part, by far, are the constant voice lines by "Chris Rock" and all of the other VA's hired to phone in some of the worst lines ever digitally recorded. And they Do. Not. Shut. Up. The constant wisecracking makes my blood fucking boil. We are living in an age where no film or AAA game is safe from "Joss Whedon-esque" dialogue, but let me tell you that this is where it all started. Madagascar is patient 0 for this blight on culture and society, and I cannot bare to play this unholy bringer of the end days any longer.