Drowning in Problems

Given Notch's deep-running personality flaws, I feared the worst on seeing the title of this game - it wasn't hard to imagine a man that came out in support of a reactionary hate group and made peace with one of the world's biggest wastes of oxygen using this to further his agenda against people who give a shit about anything that matters. And yet, it's actually even worse than I'd feared - in a delicious bit of unintended irony, rather than using this a platform to attack people that he thinks complain about the world too much, he's using it as a platform to wallow in self-pity and complain about his own life. I'll admit I got a slight chuckle out of his (almost definitely accidental) assertion that teenagers aren't humans, but I don't know how it's possible not to cringe at this guy moaning about losing his 'integrity' and all those 'broken hearts' he got as a teenager. You literally have to collect crushed dreams to reach old age, for fuck's sake. It's like watching your aunt try to explain Nihilist Memes to her church friends when they ask why your little brother's started wearing eyeliner.

I doubt this could be redeemed by any kind of gameplay, but even if there was some kind of interaction that could make this anything more than worthless, a text adventure where you constantly smash the word 'Solve' until it stops even feeling like a real word definitely isn't it. I guess at least it means I didn't expend more effort playing it than he did writing it, which I felt in grave danger of at one point. Small mercies and all that.