Paper Mario: Color Splash

I’m going to need a stiff drink to get through this one…

After Nintendo defecated all over the Paper Mario franchise with Sticker Star, my hopes and dreams to experience a fresh, new game in the series that recalled the JRPG genre format of the previous titles I adored as a child were dashed indefinitely. Playing the abysmal excuse for a Paper Mario game that Nintendo slopped onto the 3DS was the closest I have come to a “monkey’s paw” scenario in gaming. Some divine, sadistic force technically granted me my wish but tossed a litany of loopholes into their wish-making magic that would make me regret that this desire ever crossed my mind for the rest of my life. If Sticker Star was nothing but a torrent of grief, pain, and disappointment, why did I even think to entertain the notion of playing its direct follow-up on the Wii U: Paper Mario: Color Splash? Like a devout religious man who has faced a hardship so agonizing that they wonder if their God has forsaken them, I still have not renounced my faith in Paper Mario. Plus, I seem to be more gullible than I let on. I allowed the hearsay from the internet to convince me that Color Splash was a significant improvement on Sticker Star and that it at least made some headway into emulating the old Paper Mario guard we knew and loved. This collective of people must reside along a river in Egypt because I now know from firsthand experience that they were all in denial.

One aspect I will give Color Splash a bit of credit for is that the game introduces its source of conflict in a manner atypical to a mainline Super Mario series standby. In fact, Color Splash’s premise is surprisingly a bit morbid. On an ominous night with inclement weather, Peach delivers a letter from the distant land of Prism Island to Mario’s residence. Mario leaps out of his chair upon seeing that the latter is composed of a dead Toad, who has been drained of all its color and folded to fit an envelope like some mafioso threat. Shocked and horrified, Mario and Peach set sail to Prism Island to uncover the source of this transgression delivered to them by mail. Upon docking their boat on Port Prisma’s wharf, Mario and Peach witness a disquieting scene where the islet is empty and splotches of its color have been muted to a blank, ghostly white. We then catch a Shy Guy in the act of sucking the paint out of the Toad they arrived here with as the victim of a grizzly murder, giving us the impression that he and his savage race of hooded menaces are the ones responsible for all of these bizarre killing sprees. As lifeless as their empty sheet bodies are flattened on the ground like an unfolded burger wrapper, the status of their mortality is not set in stone. After toying around with a mechanism at the center of the plaza, punching in its code unlocks a paint can located in its center. Huey, the floating, sentient paint can with a color-oriented name the developers thought would be more clever than it actually is, will use his anatomical form to house paint for Mario on a mission to collect the seven color stars and restore this land to its radiant self. While Color Splash’s opening sequence fumbles back into reintroducing undesirable aspects present in Sticker Star, the Shy Guys committing what can be best described as arts and crafts vampirism is a genuinely interesting set-up. Hell, if the commander behind this paper toad genocide is General Guy from the first Paper Mario instead of Bowser, I’ll donate my own blood to Shigeru Miyamoto.

Alas, as the game progresses, all of the unsavory little snippets from Sticker Star become more pronounced. Upon exiting Port Prisma, I don’t even know what expletive I shouted when I saw that progression through Prism Island would be mandated by a map grid as it was in Sticker Star. I hate having to repeat myself, but implementing a feature as streamlined as this in your subversive subseries intended to distort the typical tropes of the most recognizable character in the gaming medium is completely counterintuitive. But wait, the world map grid isn’t constructed like the ordinary constricted linear path that we all saw in Sticker Star. As Mario completes the main objective and the grid extends further across the map, one may notice that its trajectory is a tad asymmetrical. Mario’s journey through Prism Island will have him running all over creation, zigzagging around as carefree as a giddy schoolgirl. While I can almost appreciate the developer’s efforts in averting the congested, block design that boxes in the levels of a “world,” their attempt is laughably tepid. Wearing a bowtie to work instead of your regular necktie isn’t exactly a bold example of sticking it to the man, guys.

I suppose what ultimately matters more when discussing Color Splash’s world is the content and quality of each of the areas inside the map. The first area outside of Port Prisma, “Ruddy Road,” recalls the mild and breezy grassy plain trope that has served as the starting section of the first chapter throughout the series. Because of Sticker Star, however, a concern now arises if this chapter is ever going to deviate from this thematic setting. It turns out that the level theming for each of Color Splash’s chapters doesn’t abide by the restrictions of standard Mario themes. However, many of Color Splash’s chapters are fairly reminiscent of The Thousand-Year Door, and this is hardly an instance of glowing praise. The flat grassland of “Ruddy Road” will lead to the “Indigo Underground” where the progression from the previous level almost mirrors that of traveling from World 1-1 down the pipes to the dark and damp sewers in the original Super Mario Bros. Eventually, the chapter-ending goal is located in a foreboding tower. Sure, both of the classic Paper Mario games (and Sticker Star…) feature this thematic arc as their first chapter, but the stark similarities between Color Splash’s future chapters ring an eerie sense of commonality with The Thousand-Year Door. I don’t think it's a stretch to compare the gladiatorial match between Mario and a swarm of enemies in “The Golden Coliseum” to the WWE smackdown of Glitzville, briefly placing the regular flow of combat in the frame of a stage for violent entertainment. To get to each island level of the fourth chapter, Mario must sail on the “Violet Passage” on a sea vessel commanded by a band of Toad pirates, whose uniform at least discerns them from the copied and pasted Toad models reused from Sticker Star. There’s also a faction of Toads who operate a rail line, but there are no quaint, Agatha Christie mysteries to be solved. Implementing those into the chapter would take a considerable amount of intricate narrative unraveling, something only the classic Paper Mario games were evidently capable of executing. This isn’t what we meant when we requested a Paper Mario game similar to The Thousand Year Door! Even in emulating some of its distinctive chapter themes, none of these wannabes could hope to match their influences because they are ultimately bogged down by Sticker Star’s formula of traversing through linear levels to obtain a Macguffin with the occasional RPG fight in between. Playing a remixed version of the first level from Super Mario Bros. 3 with the dimensional shifting mechanics from Super Paper Mario in “Green Energy Plant” is relatively neat. Still, it’s also based on a level from another fucking Mario game!

While the field gameplay follows the same objective as in Sticker Star, Color Splash implements a new mechanic that coincides with its stark overall theme. To make Prism Island shine again like the fourth of July, Huey imbibes Mario’s hammer with his ceaseless storage of paint that generates from his paint bucket body, allowing Mario to double his idiosyncratic weapon from the Paper Mario subseries as a crude, blunt paintbrush. Unsightly white spots will be filled with a downward whack, and little increments of the restoration process will be compensated with a paltry sum of coins. The lurid shades implanted in Mario’s hammer are the primary colors of red, blue, and yellow, and the player will have to recollect their elementary school education of which combination of these colors mix to make the secondary colors of orange, green, and purple. Unless you are color-blind, finding the appropriate hues to fill in these splotches won’t be an issue. However, the incentive to fill in every colorless crag of Prism Island’s areas is practically nil as they aren’t impediments to progression. All the player gets for being meticulous is an unnecessary surplus of coins and an arbitrary completionist percentage. One new mechanic that does coincide with progression is cutouts, snipping out full outlines of land with a giant pair of scissors to prolong the apparent Staples sponsorship. Unfortunately, the cut-out mechanic directly involves the usage of the gamepad outside of the general function of a standard controller, forcing me to interact with a clunky apparatus more intimately and causing me great duress as a result.

To elongate my pain, swiping the attack cards used during combat also involves expending more unwanted engagement with the gamepad. What are attack cards, you may ask? In lieu of Sticker Star being old hat, the sticker mechanic has simply been rebranded as cards that Mario shoves in front of his face during battle like he’s hiding that he has a royal flush. Apparently, the developers all think we are small children who are easily fooled, for the card system is essentially identical to one of Sticker Star’s most befuddling and flawed mechanics. The saving grace with the cards is that Mario no longer has to weed them from the field, as they are rewarded to Mario for the clean-up job with his paint hammer among other methods like hitting blocks and winning battles. It’s quite fortunate that the cards are at least in abundance because the waning color meter on each enemy is not an efficient visual aid to gauge their health, forcing the player to use overkill attacks to ensure victory. Still, I will never be able to stomach their decision to relegate basic combat to a series of items no matter how comparatively plentiful they are. The action commands are relatively more involved during combat than in Sticker Star, but they never ascend over timely pressings of the A button. The game also provides little motivation to humor the combat just like Sticker Star, for there is still no RPG-oriented incremental stat increase. Funny enough, Color Splash does include a health upgrade for Mario every time he completes a chapter. Why increasing Mario’s longevity isn’t contingent on something such as experience points like in any other RPG game is beyond my understanding.

To my chagrin, the “things” from Sticker Star also make their return in a collector’s card format. They no longer have the power of a total trump card but are still incorporated into the boss battles nonetheless. The mighty foes who serve as obstacles to acquiring the Big Paint Stars for the Port Prisma fountain are none other than the Koopalings, and I couldn’t be less enthralled to see them. When did Bowser’s little bastards become synonymous with banality? Having other series regulars like Petey Piranha and Kamek here reflects poorly on them by associating with the seven standby boss battles for modern Mario fare. Since the Koopalings are here to cause chaos, Bowser can’t be far ahead. It’s revealed that the Koopa King dipped his shell into the rainbow pool in the fountain to see what his backside would look like with a radiant glow of seven different shades. However, Bowser’s disturbance caused the colors to mix, which resulted in a Bowser coated in black paint conjuring up the idea to render this world as colorless as he. Oh, and he also contractually kidnaps Peach, because of course he does. After creating a rainbow road from the combined power of all the fountain’s stars after they return to their rightful positions, Mario gets a lift up the eye-catching arch from Luigi of all people to fight the Koopa King in his fortress situated above the clouds. “Black Bowser” sure looks insidious, and it’s apparently the most evil form that Bowser has ever taken. You see, we’re expected to believe that the coagulation of the colors has unleashed some tyrannical, demonic force possessing Bowser to do its bidding. Are we supposed to believe that Bowser has always been nothing but a rival for Peach’s affections like Bluto and has never thought of world domination beforehand as a primary goal? Hardly.

Despite the pervasive backlash, Intelligent Systems and Nintendo thought it would be ideal to replicate Sticker Star onto a home console. Everything that made Sticker Star appalling shifts over without considering how they impact the experience, regardless of how the fans reacted to these new implementations with utter contempt. Given that Color Splash makes the same mistakes twice over, I’m entirely convinced that Nintendo keeps cranking out Paper Mario titles to spite consumers because all of the changes they’ve made are so minute that it feels like they’re mocking us. Still, I’m sad to say that all of those changes are what ascends Color Splash over the pits of despair and into the realm of stark mediocrity. I have to accept that Paper Mario is now the Olive Garden of the Italian plumber’s subseries, dishing out bland, cheap imitations of the finest cooking I’ve ever eaten.

Oof, madone!

The Paper Mario series of games are humorous RPGs which allow the story to be more complex than the usual 'Princess Peach is kidnapped by Bowser' story. However, just like Sticker Star; that's the story in this game after a slightly different set-up. Mario is visited by Peach who hands him a Toad whose colour has been drained. They travel to Prism Island to find the Paint Stars have disappeared and Shy Guys with straws are sucking the colour out of Toads and the environment. Not long into the game, Peach gets kidnapped, and Mario must recover the paint stars, and, once again, save the Princess.

The game is very much like a sequel to Sticker Star which people found very disappointing. This game is better though, but still has many of the limitations that Sticker Star had. There's many more levels with more variety.

Each level contains at least one Mini Paint Star which unlocks another level, leading up to collecting a Big Paint Star which allows you to go to the next batch of levels. In each level, there's some light platforming, turn-based battles, and things to hit with your hammer. Your hammer can hit objects which extracts paint from them. With a different button press, paint will splash from your hammer which is used to fill in colourless objects and areas which can reward you with coins and cards which are used for battling. Although basic, it was actually quite satisfying going around hitting things with your hammer.

In each level, touching an enemy initiates a turn-based battle. Using the Game Pad, you select your cards which are one-use items. Colourless cards will need to be painted to maximise their attack; this is as simple as pressing and holding down on the touchscreen. Choosing cards in this manner can feel a bit cumbersome. Winning the battle rewards you with coins and possibly cards, and hammer icons. The hammer icons act as experience points which increases the amount of paint you can carry. The battles don't seem as important as other RPGs, but feel more important than they did in Sticker Star.

Once you have selected an attack, you can time a button press to determine the attack's success or extra damage (depending on the weapon). For example, the standard jump move will deal extra damage with repeated jumps after a correctly timed press. The hammer has a wider range, so will do nominal damage if you fail to press a button, do decent damage if you press too early, or do lots of damage with a perfectly timed press. When enemies attack, you can reduce damage with a correctly timed block. Initially, you can choose one card per turn, but this is soon upgraded to two. Much later on in the game it is upgraded to three slots, and finally four.

There are plenty of cards to find in the environment but they can also be purchased at the shop. The game is overly generous with coins and cards, so you should always have a decent supply of them; so the resource management aspect seems minor. Additionally, the cards respawn if you quit the level and replay it, meaning you can farm the cards. During battle, you can purchase a card for 10 coins via the roulette. This is a extremely cheap way of purchasing cards and can be done each turn.

There are certain areas that Mario can cut out which allows him to reach new areas. Sometimes these sections aren't that obvious, so sometimes you end up spamming the button to find them.

You may find real world objects simply known as 'Things'. Once you have found a 'Thing', it will be able to be purchased again at a special shop. These can be turned into cards which provide massive damage in battle, or be used to solve puzzles within the levels. Some of these are reasonable like using a Fan as a substitute for wind, but others are less obvious like using a Hair Dryer to defrost a freezer to acquire the item contained within, when I thought a Ice Pick would have been more suitable. 'Things' are vital to take down the bosses, so if you don't have the required Thing, you will have to do some tedious backtracking to get the cards, then go back to fight the boss again. You can talk to a Toad in Port Prisma to find out which Thing you need ahead of time, otherwise you will only find out when you are fighting the boss, and they will hint at what you need. This is a major annoyance and I can't believe they thought this was a good idea to carry over from Sticker Star.

In previous Paper Mario games, there will be support characters that help you in battle, but the only character that assists you in some way is a sentient paint tub called Huey. Huey seems to be more helpful than Sticker Star's Kersti, but won't join you in battle. The non playable characters you meet are nearly always Toads, which seems an extremely lazy design decision.

One aspect that is very impressive is the game's graphics. Although simple, it's probably one of the most beautiful games on the Wii U. The game does have a lot of charm, and is well animated.

The game takes 30 hours or so to complete, which is just insane. The game's story and gameplay don't do enough to justify this length, so you quickly get bored. The dialogue is well written, with plenty of lines which make you smile.

Sticker Star was a huge step back for the series, and it seems crazy that this game is essentially a sequel to it. It is the better game, but I think I would have enjoyed it much more if I hadn't played Sticker Star. It was too close to that game which made it feel instantly tedious. There's too many aspects of Color Splash that are too simple and are actually tedious; so I think it's an okay game at best.