it's all about the music, nothing else matters. music exists as yin and yang, personal expression, and the yearning for acceptance. always elements of both. integrity/selling out are a continuum, no clear markers. music was tainted long before david growl showed up on the scene. the problem with childhood is the only adults that show interest in you are either assholes or perverts. i like that public enemy song where flavor flav is spouting off about beat is for yoko ono, beat is for sonny bono... enthusiastic nonsense is good within music. i buy most of my food at the grocery outlet. usually alright, well sometimes its too salty or stale. just never buy off-brand beer there unless you like playing russian roulette with your taste buds. i look pretty good with a shirt on, but take it off and my abbs of flap are revealed. once im done with my taxes im going to start working out. i'm a fairly decent musician, but i wish i could play piano like thelonious monk, sing like tim buckley, or play guitar like john fahey. a friend of mine met fahey at a thrift store. he was buying records to re-sell. sometimes i do that too. people will do almost anything to avoid loneliness. some wild turkeys cruise through my backyard. they're funny cause they believe they are slick and undetected, but they're giant clumsy birds. i'm not religious, but i don't buy into the big bang theory or evolution either. could be wrong, but i think we were created by something. i don't know if that something is benevolent, a jerk, or doesn't give a shit. i don't think anybody really knows that much, our brains were mainly designed for feeding and breeding and a giant ego blossomed. the something else is what makes life interesting and difficult.