How to spot a ‘fake’ gamer

• Frequently pronounces video games as “Blideo Bames”

• Will often say “I need help passing this level it’s really hard” then when you look at their screen it’s running Microsoft Excel 2007

• They invite you over to their place to check out their game collection and it’s just every season of Frasier (still impressive)

• Their Xbox One is actually a series of tissue boxes glued together with the word “NINTEMDO” painted over it

• When you ask their favourite video game they respond by doing a series of skillful backflips, temporarily distracting you from having asked the question in the first place

• Keeps a secret diary with “I HATE VIDEO GAMES AND I NEVER PLAY THEM” written on every page