Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no good ratings to power metal, hold no shitty modern "indie" music, father no schoolboys recoding black metal in toilets. I shall wear no beats by dre and win no glory for my annual tops. I shall live and die at my post. I am the ear in the darkness of shitty metal music. I am the watcher on the Bandcamp walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men from endless mediocre metal bands. I pledge my life and honor to the 8stringsamurai's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.