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Vampire Survivors

Developer / Publisher: Poncle
20 October 2022
Vampire Survivors - cover art
Glitchwave rating
3.51 / 5.0
0.5
5.0
 
 
1,165 Ratings / 1 Reviews
#948 All-time
#34 for 2022
Vampire Survivors is nominally set in rural Italy in 2021. Hordes of monsters summoned by the evil Bisconte Draculó ravage the land, and the Belpaese family and other heroic survivors take it upon themselves to hunt down and defeat Draculó.
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Title
Casualised to the point of utter banality.

Vampire Survivors is a game about nothing. You don't shoot, you don't perform any crazy combos, you don't even make any meaningful decisions. All you do is walk.

It's the perfect game for the Twitch generation - you spend all the time watching someone else play the game for you, and occasionally laugh at stray lootboxes. Games like this one validate Roger Ebert's take on video games - it feels like for every The Witness, there's a Vampire Survivors, and these games somehow cancel each other out.

It's impressive just how much the developer committed to not letting the player play the game. You don't make any meaningful decisions (you can run all boosts at once, and everything else is solved by a very basic tier list), and you can't even dodge enemies in any meaningful way due to the speed (little) and the hitbox (large) of your character. It's just nothing.

Playing Vampire Survivors is bad for your soul. Your time would be better spent watching TikTok, or YouTube Kids videos about Spiderman performing podiatric care on Elsa and Shrek.

Two points, solely because game is entertaining for the first two hours or so until you figure out what it's all about.
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mdvs 2023-10-15T16:51:48Z
2023-10-15T16:51:48Z
2.0
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Title
an efficient feeding Vampire
Vampire Survivors is a great $3 game. It's designed to be about as filling and nutritional in game terms as a bag of popcorn, and part of it's appeal is that it goes further than the face value it holds. It's ripe with unlockables and evocative moments of reveal. What holds me in content is the fact that this game is a vampire in itself; it feeds on your time remorselessly no matter how responsibly you try to play it, and until you 'figure out' how best to run the game, you are wasting whole dozens of minutes on futile attempts that sputter out mid-wave-progression because you didn't build good enough to survive the new wave strategies you could only learn about through trial and error.

I like to refer to games like this as "loser vibe checks" because the real appeal of this game is the fact that it literally asks for 30 whole irrevocable minutes of your actual life PER RUN to potentially unlock a new stage or find some new combination of funny trinkets to give you a bigger rush of power fantasy on your next go.

30 Entire of God's Own Minutes is a long fucking time if you aren't a Loser. If you go to your lunch break at the job you have to be a functioning member of society, and kick up Vampire Survivors somehow after heating up your food, you are going to be sitting with an ice-cold meal with only a few minutes to scarf it down to punch in on time, for ONE SUCCESSFUL RUN of this game. ONE. This game trades your life, your actual time spent on this earth, for facsimiles of minor upgrades that may combine to give you a new way to efficiently lightly strafe enemies to beat new stages.

I spent the most time playing this game visiting family in a miserable cabin in the woods where thankfully I packed a laptop and while I made decent headway naturally discovering all the neat whistles and features the game has, the entire day blinked away and all I felt was that I needed to keep going to unlock, I dunno, lightning bolt + duplicator at max level or some other bull shit.

Play this game to pieces if you're a loser, you'll love it.

But I personally suspect that losers have already done so, and feel robbed by how they poured so much time into unlocking near-pointless little cosmetic trinkets and alternate starts, and now they'll be mad that they didn't get more loser slop.
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ohmroc 2023-11-07T03:14:33Z
2023-11-07T03:14:33Z
4.5
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Vampire Survivors is a fun, casual game to play in short bursts every now and then. That feels, in my estimation, to be the aspiration of this game, and it nails it. It takes a simple concept which needs no instruction and slowly builds upon it as you progress. There's a surprising amount of complexity layered onto the premise which you're left to discover for yourself through experimentation.

Manage your expectations and judge this game on the terms it sets out to meet, and you'll find a well-executed fun time. Expect this to be an epic and you'll be disappointed.
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skweezu 2023-11-04T15:56:51Z
2023-11-04T15:56:51Z
4.0
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A review stating you make no meaningful decisions and can run all boosts at once is untrue. You can hold 6 weapons and 6 boosts (up to 8 boosts, if you're clever). Weapons can evolve but only with the complimentary boost, which means you must choose wisely to maximize a run. The slot machine style loot mechanic adds an amount of chance into your run. I find criticizing this game for loot mechanics laughable considering it has no micro-transactions at all. Imagine, in our ocean of insatiable greed, criticizing this game for giving you the same rush for only the flat purchase fee -- which, might I add, is just $5.

Criticizing it for being casual is equivalent to criticizing pop music for being simple: that was the entire point of it existing. There's more than enough room in our world for both casual and intense games to exist. Appreciate things for what they are, not what you would rather them be. To an extent, obviously.
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Psychologically manipulative
It's addictive, but the addictiveness is just done via low-level psychological manipulations (slot machine bonuses, that kind of stuff). There's no in-game transactions, but the gross feeling I get is the same.

The graphics are cheap sprite packs (not quite rips, in the legal sense, but obviously meant to be Castlevania). The menus have incorrect capitalization. The abilities are all uninteresting. The whole thing screams low effort.

I did play this game through most of the levels and characters. I do feel like I understood what makes it tick (and what makes people like it). But, between the yucky design and the cheapness of it, I just really dislike it.
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castoridae 2023-08-12T04:27:29Z
2023-08-12T04:27:29Z
0.5
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My new addiction; Vampire Survivors is a unique and deceptively simple rogue light where you only use a single input to dodge around hordes of enemies as you pick up auto-attacking weapons. The complexity lies in creating awesome synergies of these weapons that allow you to become the bullet hell that mows down thousands of *cough* legally distinct *cough* but very Castlevania-inspired monsters and creatures. Each run is an endorphin rush fuelled by lucky pickups, great music, satisfying sound effects and cool new weapons. It’s no shock that the developer here used to work on gambling apps and has put his talents to better use in a game with all the satisfying dopamine hits, but importantly lacking the predatory monetization. The ultimate “just one more run” game.
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_moonchild_ 2022-12-21T22:16:13Z
2022-12-21T22:16:13Z
3.5
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It's the bath that keeps getting colder.
The game hooks you with a simple dopamine rush you're getting from annoyingly long chest openings, and with killing thousands of enemies on the screen. After you "survive" a couple of times (that is, you were able to hold on for 30 minutes), you realize that the game has nothing more to offer. It has a lot of achievements, which exist only to give you any kind of incentive to continue to play, which is meaningless; it has tens of characters, all of which are just the same character basically sans different weapon starts and some small differences in stats; quite a number of levels, all of which are huge and empty maps that doesn't make any sense to explore since the best tactic is just kill enemies in some area and collect experience rubies over and over. Speaking of tactic - there is none, you're basically either unstoppable or you get overwhelmed at some point, there is no in-between. Good fun for few hours, then you should probably move on to some other, more fleshed out dopamine rush games such as Synthetik or Hades.
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groll 2022-12-19T20:34:22Z
2022-12-19T20:34:22Z
2.5
1
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Catalog

Kimpes Vampire Survivors 2024-06-16T16:27:43Z
2024-06-16T16:27:43Z
3.0
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Tattertoff Vampire Survivors 2024-06-16T07:27:19Z
2024-06-16T07:27:19Z
5.0
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
blondeeeeeee Vampire Survivors 2024-06-15T00:49:58Z
2024-06-15T00:49:58Z
3.5
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Psychochimecho Vampire Survivors 2024-06-12T23:53:45Z
2024-06-12T23:53:45Z
5.0
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
PopaGascoigne Vampire Survivors 2024-06-11T19:24:53Z
2024-06-11T19:24:53Z
3.75
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
amyelliottdunne Vampire Survivors 2024-06-10T19:52:35Z
2024-06-10T19:52:35Z
4.5
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Nylock Vampire Survivors 2024-06-10T03:05:54Z
2024-06-10T03:05:54Z
3.5
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
ohohohachilohohno Vampire Survivors 2024-06-09T23:46:59Z
2024-06-09T23:46:59Z
3.5
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
xloathex Vampire Survivors 2024-06-08T02:03:57Z
2024-06-08T02:03:57Z
5.0
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
jlnt Vampire Survivors 2024-06-06T17:01:22Z
2024-06-06T17:01:22Z
3.5
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
MesoUggo Vampire Survivors 2024-06-05T04:06:54Z
2024-06-05T04:06:54Z
92
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
SumiQueen Vampire Survivors 2024-06-05T02:51:01Z
2024-06-05T02:51:01Z
3.5
In collection Want to buy Used to own  
Player modes
1-4 players
Early access date
17 dec 2021
Media
Download
Multiplayer modes
Cooperative
Multiplayer options
Local

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  • Previous comments (68) Loading...
  • sk3rk 2024-01-02 19:17:14.43352+00
    install an xbox with vampire survirors on right next to your local casino and it’ll be out of business in weeks time
    reply
    • Dan_CiTi 2024-04-19 01:41:58.549781+00
      Unless that setup allowed people to bet and win money from doing so, that wouldn't change too much of anything for the casino.
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  • Mailto 2024-01-09 03:32:55.082066+00
    very very fun and innovative but it is clear how early of an iteration of the bullet heaven genre this is, the last 10 minutes of pretty much every run are consistently boring
    reply
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  • TheRealJimMorrison 2024-01-23 05:00:23.547855+00
    Upgrade
    reply
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  • yaysin 2024-02-11 04:50:07.315302+00
    this game really attracted the wrath of pretentious reviewers
    reply
    • WinterMirage 2024-02-11 16:37:37.887666+00
      What universe did you come from because last i checked, the entire gaming industry dick rided this game and called it the best thing since sex. Fucking actual game developers gathered around and gave this the BAFTA for Best Game of the Year.
    • kendricco 2024-05-01 18:17:33.83094+00
      this game feels like doomscrolling
    • More replies New replies ) Loading...
  • Romanshower 2024-02-24 23:53:18.282584+00
    McDonalds of video games

    Someone has said that before I am sure
    reply
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  • possayy 2024-04-25 11:10:13.310242+00
    I honestly just hate this game for popularizing the genre and making 80% of my steam page in the last 2 years filled with clones it’s so fucking annoying . Wayyy worse than with soulslikes just because of the pure quantity of it.

    The game itself is just ok , feels more fit for mobile / toilet gaming rather than something I’d get up to play on my pc
    reply
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  • daskull 2024-05-01 01:05:55.902422+00
    dudes be like I Want Shorter Games With Worse Graphics and I'm Not Kidding

    WAIT NOT LIKE THAT
    reply
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  • anon123 2024-05-15 03:24:00.871691+00
    i like that it's so easy and mindless. this is like the young hip castlevania rougelite version of all those match 3 games that old ppl play
    reply
    • BoreCanal 2024-06-15 12:05:51.811145+00
      Yes, it is. Simple but effective.
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