Superman

Superman 64 is how I would imagine going to Hell is like, in the sense that seeing it and reading about it can't possibly compare to actually playing it. It's not a fun game to play as a joke, or out of spite, or morbid curiosity; this game is to be avoided. Let it exist as a legend in your head. Don't let your naive perception of what playing it must be like die out, because playing it would honestly destroy the magic of how bad you thought a game could possibly be. From instructions so vague and hastily delivered they border on the kafkaesque, to the actual worst controls you've ever used (it's literally just luck by a certain point), to the hideous graphics, playing this game is almost a spiritual experience in bad design. Your mind will beg you to stop playing and do literally anything else with your free time. I've never beaten this game nor do I have any intention of ever doing so - not because life is too short to not play better games, but because life is too long to live with the consequences of doing so.

Lives up to the hype--Superman is laughably bad, laughter after a time giving way to depression. The graphics are essentially slabs of solid colour with no detail, the animation is ass, and the fogging is horrendous, particularly indoors where anything more than six feet ahead of you is shrouded in pitch-black darkness. The sound effects are dull and the music is so bad that it's odd and off-putting.

The game's missions tend to alternate between indoor and outdoor settings, both lifeless and rudimentary. Mission objectives, and the way that missions play out, are often unclear and nonsensical. One objective early on has you "put the police car at the end of this road", seemingly implying that you should carry a police car to the end of a road, for unexplained reasons. Once you've deciphered an objective, carrying it out is even more difficult: the controls are a loose, jerky nightmare.

I'd have thought Titus should be embarrassed by Superman, but in their interview in the Nintendo 64 Anthology book, they claim that the game isn't horrible and essentially blame Superman fans for hating on it. Go figure.