Ghosts 'n Goblins

Things that are easier than completing the 1985 NES game Ghosts and Goblins:

- punching through a brick wall with your bare fists
- cutting a speeding bullet in mid-air with a butter knife
- swimming across the Atlantic Ocean to Europe
- finding peace in the Middle East
- having sex with every model on a Sport's Illustrated Swimsuit calendar within a year
- convincing Valve to make Half-Life 3
- reuniting The Smiths for a reunion tour
- licking your elbow

I was surprised how much fun I had at times playing Ghosts 'n' Goblins. This game is very hard, of course, but there's an infectious quality on how methodical the challenge is. Memorizing enemy encounters and their movement patterns is really fun and satisfying.

Then there's the unfair aspects of difficulty.

Glitchy controls, randomly spawning monsters that don't have much of a warning, and some very annoying enemy placements (like the ogres in Levels 5 and 6 that block ladders), these aren't fun challenges. There's nothing in the player's verbset that allows you to overcome these obstacles gracefully.

I kept an open mind playing this game and enjoyed a good chunk of the challenge but I found myself pretty frustrated too, and not for a lack of trying.

I like how the Japanese boxart says "welcome, come on in!" like god fuck this game. It's still fun, but you're better off playing the arcade version this was ported from.

If there's one thing this game has taught me, it's that dropping slurs in a"heated gamer moment" isn't fucking real or an excuse.

Great game to play if you hate yourself!

This game is hard as balls and probably one of the hardest games of all time. Hell this manages to make Dark Souls, Ninja Gaiden, and Super Meat Boy look like Elmo's Letter Adventure. Its a game where enemies are constantly spawning on screen to with the goal of ramming themselves up your ass and getting you naked, then screwing you to death over and over and over until the concept of death no longer means anything. That's pretty much what this game is, especially if you don't use save states or cheat codes. Its a game where luck is more essential than skill, and having the right weapon and amount of spawns are crucial to getting to the end. I mean the one thing this game has going for it is the catchy soundtrack, the song will forever be engraved in our heads as we died thousands of times. But I guess the game does have some alright design and I do enjoy the dark atmosphere, but I feel the 2 hit death makes this a lot worse. If this game had less of a random factor, and actually implemented a health bar it could have been way better.

Stupidly hard sidescroller. Play as a knight in armor and save your princess from the forces of evil, its the fairly typical plot for the time. You get a shiny armor and a few lances you can throw at enemies. You would think that being allowed two hits instead of the usual one would make the game easier, but it throws so much shit at you that it doesnt really make a difference. Its really insanely hard, and because of that the game is also extremely repetitive. As far as im aware there is only one checkpoint per area, which makes things even more difficult. I couldnt get very far on this one, its simply put a very enpleasant experience. I consider myself the sort of person that likes challenging games, but this one is way too much to the point of being very frustrating.