I’m writing this while watching a group I used to hang out with a lot more get bodied at a round of the Dotes. It's their first game since a new meta shifting patch dropped, and yet the meta is the only thing that's changed. Listening to five dudes being miserable in each others presence, not taking responsibility for their individual fuck ups which have inevitably snowballed out of control. In spite of playing this game together for at least five years plus, they lack almost any team coordination whatsoever. They could potentially improve their strategies and learn from each of their mistakes, but instead they decide to call each other idiots with at least some level of sincerity in those words, use weird mental gymnastics to justify their own sick plays, and have long bouts of incredibly awkward silence during the downtime between team fights.
It’s evident that all of their skill levels plateaued years ago, deciding that they should firmly and permanently affix themselves on the top of Mt. Stupid
without any hope of climbing down the right side. You’d think that after years of beating their collective faces against a wall they’d attempt to either take some sort of self-aware initiative to improve or better yet, find something more fulfilling to do with the inevitable hundreds to thousands of hours they’re going to continue to dump into this goddamn time sink.
I will fully admit that I’m watching out of some level of schadenfreude. Our in-houses and team queues were roughly indistinguishable from solo pubbing in terms of the verbal abuse that would get thrown around back when I hated myself enough to play DotA regularly. There is simply no escape from that kind of behavior, as it is almost built into the bones of every MOBA ever made. It’s a 5v5 game where teamwork is by far the most important skill, where one bad player can easily ruin an entire game. If you’re new, fuck you. If you’re having a bad night, fuck you. If you’re trying a new hero, fuck you. If you’re not playing absolutely perfect at every single moment, fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
It’s extremely easy to get frustrated since the stakes are constantly way too high. This might initially sound appealing to some until you realize that each game is slow in the worst ways possible, as roughly 75% of each game is either grinding or waiting or respawning. A constant stressful bath to soak in for 45 minutes at a time that you decided to immerse yourself in because you have nothing else to really live for anyway. And if that doesn’t already sound needlessly frustrating and stressful enough, why not just make it so you can’t coincide either? Continue to wallow in your own filth and put up with constant reminders from your teammates and “friends” how your one extremely specific death half an hour ago completely ruined the game and how you suck you fuckin’ idiot.
I regret every minute of that thousand hours I wasted on this shit. Losses that hurt more than they should’ve, wins that were regularly unsatisfying because the other team had their own meltdown. Is the 10% of the time you win a game that is fulfilling worth the other 90% that aren’t? Do you really want to be reminded how bad you are because a number is just a few points off of where you want it to be?
Icefrog should be tried for crimes against humanity on the Pandora’s Box he unleashed on the world. Not only for DotA and Dota 2
, but also for the influence it had on League of Legends
, Heroes of Newerth
and every other goddamn stupid MOBA that has ever been developed. Can you imagine the number of friendships absolutely decimated, the number of people whose emotional maturity has reverted back childlike levels, the millions of hours of unsatisfying, infuriating games that have been played?