Chocobo Racing

The new Chocobo Racing was one of the coolest games shown during the September Nintendo Direct. I decided to play the PS1 game to see if it's any good. It isn't!

Chocobo Racing tries to tie in some Final Fantasy mechanics with racing, namely the magic system. You can pick up spells like items in Mario Kart, but collecting multiple of the same spell with power it up to -ara and -aga, often adding effects like lock-on and extending duration. It's a cool idea in theory, but one of the special abilities the racers have steals your spells, and it happens often enough that you don't have time to build up to -ara, much less -aga. You can set your special ability at the beginning of the race and your gauge for it fills over time, but I only used the extra speed boost because everything else seemed more situational. The controls are alright - it isn't compatible with the analog stick but I didn't mind - but drifting requires you to hold down both square and cross, and it doesn't always like reading combined inputs, so there were a couple of instances where I would begin it brake instead of drift. On top of that, drifting for too long will cause you to spin out. I'm not well versed in many racing games, but that seems like a really dumb design choice.

The cast is a mixed bag. We get iconic mainstays like Chocobo, Chubby Chocobo, Moogle, Black Mage, White Mage, Golem(??), Behemoth(???), and Bahamut (not as bad a choice but the fact their appearance changes between each FF game it's a bit pointless). All of the cool characters - Cloud, Squall, Aya from Parasite Eve(!), and a few others - are locked and you unlock them one a a time after beating story mode. Story mode itself is only 60-75 minutes depending on how good you are, but one time was more than enough for me. What a shame.

The tracks are pretty uninspired and feel like any other kart racer, just with a few Final Fantasy references thrown in. Racing stadium, lava world, haunted world, desert world, etc etc. Being able to race through previous Final Fantasy maps would have been really cool, but that only happens in an unlockable track called FFVIII Circuit, which is a race through Galbadia (FFVIII would come out the following September so it was a cool preview of sorts - the music is a remix of VIII's battle theme). Your typical track consists of straight stretched of road, tunnels, tight turns (sometimes with no rail guards!), and maybe a hill or two to spice things up.

The soundtrack primarily composes of remixed Final Fantasy staples, but there are a few tracks that go way fucking harder than necessary. In particular the ending theme is fully voiced and sounds like something Fei Wong would compose - it actually stands up there with Eyes On Me. Incidentally she had nothing to do with the track. I thought the graphics were nice. Like Mario Kart 64, the racers are sprites while the tracks themselves are 3D. Story mode is told through a pop-up storybook and the visuals are lovely. There are even a few FMVs thrown in.

I guess this would have made a decent weekend rental in 1999 but other than the Final Fantasy coating, Chocobo Racing has very little going for it. I finished story mode and messed around with time trials and grand prix for a little bit, but I have no desire to go back. Needless to say Chocobo Racing has ruined my life...

But I still stan Chubby Chocobo.

A childhood favourite, revisiting this without rose-tinted glasses proved time unkind. Actually a nostalgia trip back then with great use of the Final Fantasy license for decent appropriation of kart racing foundations, the pieces are all there for a good time, with a somewhat inspired story mode being just one mode of many, having quite a few great tracks across various locales and a killer soundtrack, alongside aping MK64's smart decision to use 2D sprites against 3D rendered environments. So what's wrong? It comes down to the racing itself, which despite an inspired power-up system has some severe balance issues. Each character's special ability cannot stockpile, leaving you at a deficit by math any time you decide to hold onto it, in which case why would you pick anything but the boost? This basic misunderstanding of racing game flow undercuts the entire thing, to say nothing of handling that isn't that great to begin with.