Alone in the Dark [Windows/Xbox 360/PS3]

Atari’s 2008 reboot of its almost prehistoric “Alone in the Dark”-Franchise is an overambitious mess of a game that tries many interesting things but gets very few of them right. There are some very cool ideas scattered around but they are let down by the jankyness of the controls and overall poor technical framework. I played the PS3-version titled “Alone in the Dark: Inferno” (for some reason) which is supposed to be the most polished incarnation of this game. That being said, it still is a mighty unpolished experience. I cannot begin to imagine in what a terrible shape the PS2- or Wii-ports must have hit the market back in 2008. I will not blame the game for its mediocre graphics and framerate because they are pretty much what you have to expect from a mid-budget survival-horror-title from that era. The point is that it somehow mostly holds together. I had a few stutters here and there but it didn’t crash and the loading time is quick, which surprised me the most. The technical problems are rooted mostly in the gameplay. As I mentioned, this reboot was insanely ambitious for the time and tries so many things at once but fails at making it intuitive for the player. A good example are the physics of environmental objects. Most games, even today, do not bother with this kind of interaction and I guess there is a reason for it. In “Alone in the Dark” there is a good number of objects you can move by running into them, or even pick up and destroy. Not a bad thing on paper but it often conflicts with the underlying architecture, making it hard to overcome moveable objects, for example in tight corridors. This becomes an even bigger obstacle when you are behind the wheel of car. Yes, you can drive cars in this game, a mechanic that has become kind of infamous for its clunkyness and is representative for the reputation of this game. Again, this mechanic isn’t entirely bad. Some cars are locked but you can gain access to them by shooting the windows. If there is no key you can then start the car by connecting some wires. There are many other ways of interaction with cars. You can turn the lights on and off, move between the seats, find objects on the inside, shoot the fuel-tank or (if you have a knife or a screwdriver) cause a leak which can be lit on fire and leads to a massive explosion. Also, you are able to drive in first and third person, monsters can jump onto the car and slowly rip it to pieces etc. etc. The ambition here is obvious and just one example. They wanted to give the player as many opportunities as possible in almost every gameplay-mechanic. I was reminded of “Day Z” quite often, for better and for worse. The downside, like in “Day Z”, lies in the execution of the core-mechanics. For example, there is a lot to do with cars but driving feels terrible. You constantly get stuck in trees, cracks in the roads or streetlights. See, the central park, the setting of the game, serves as some kind of hub-world. Not a bad idea but also not exactly a racing track. This problem transfers to stuff like the crafting-system, the combat, the climbing-sections, puzzles and so on. Nothing works in ways that are satisfying or intuitive and you can’t help but wonder how it got released the way it did.

This may not come as a surprise but the endgame, as in most videogames, reaches new highs of awfulness. You just want it to end because, by that point, you have learned every mechanic in the game and it starts to get tedious but no, they force you to do the same mind-numbingly boring side-quest over and over again before they let you enter the final stages. At least they were generous by not putting a terrible boss fight on top of this mess. Instead, there are a few annoying climbing-sections, some fairly decent puzzles concluded by an uninspired choice-ending (à la Far Cry 3 or whatever).

The story is the most downright boring part of this Reboot. It’s hard to follow, has hollow characters and had me abandon any involvement very soon. Edward Carnby is your typical grumpy hero, here, at least, voiced by the iconic James “Max Payne” McCaffrey. The dialogue is full of profanity and so stupid that even his delivery can’t save it. The plot involves something about the reincarnation of Lucifer and the end of the world. I could not remember another thing when the credits started rolling and my guess is that I am not the only one who felt that way. My advice: do not play this game for the story!

In the end this is an often frustrating yet fascinating and experimental abnormality of a game that is way more interesting in its failure than many polished but formulaic titles today. It really tries to do new things everywhere and I would recommend it for that alone.

this is a remake of the classic franchise, or rather a reimaging, by none other than some random Racing game developer. and while the presentation at very first glance may seen enticing, it wont take long until you realize why this game has such an awful reputation. really what the game consists of going through various linear scripted environments mostly doing: Platforming, light puzzle solving, driving, some 'combat, and beating down doors with a hilariously wonky physics system. Oh and most of the interactions you'll be having with the enviorment will be through throwing plastic bottles / alcoholic beverages at random things. That's it. You need to carry with you handfuls of explosives so you can throw --> shoot --> explode (enemy,object) FREQUENTLY. the sad part is not a single one of these things are ever entertaining or enjoyable.

For starters the controls are some of the worst i've ever dealt with, i'm not sure how to describe it. the game being made by a Racing dev, it actually does feel like your player character behaves like a car on ice, with psuedo tank controls and really strange momentum in the movement. The game can't decide if it wants to be a first person game or a third person game, so you end up fumbling through both of them frequently and it get's quickly annoying how cumbersome the whole design is. You go into first person to shoot a lock, or a scripted device, then as soon as some trigger happens, it puts you back in third person, only for you to go back into first person because that's what you wanted. This happens once every 60 seconds on average maybe? its headache inducing.
So theres a fair bit of platforming with really, really poor controls, then sometimes you end up having to drive to an objective, and the irony here is the driving is also some of the worst of all time. You'd think this is the ONE thing they could get somewhat right, but no. Before you can even drive the car 9 times out of 10 you have to fumble around your joystick looking around the vehicle for keys, items (opening glove box, etc) or you can hotwire it. Its so terribly messy because you frequently accidentally click a prompt in the slightly wrong location so he opens up the mirror instead of going for the hotwire, while you have 10 angry monsters storming your car just to pull you out. it's just frustrating and sloppily designed.

Theres just way too many "What were they thinking!" moments. You get a few handguns, but I'm really not sure the actual purpose of them as you can only kill enemies by using fire. So shooting at them is really pointless unless you just want to knock them down? But why not just use some melee object? well, thats another thing. the actual combat VS enemies is downright laughable. theres a system where you can pickup most basic objects, and swing it using the right control stick motion, but its so wonky and barely fuctioning it just ends up looking like an autistic child throwing a tantrum. You just pickup a piece of wood, run up to an enemy, flail around your joystick like a retard until it eventually connects a few times, knocking them onto the ground. THEN you have to make sure theres a fire source near by so you can ignite an item, or push them into the fire to eliminate them.
This usually happens with groups of 10 enemies. Its not hard, challenging, or entertaining. It's just god damn tedious.

Like I said about the presentation, the game is deceptive. From first glance the graphics are acceptable, considering 2008, the lighting, textures, sound design, are all fairly standard to actually good. Theres some nice particle effects like with rain, and some of the environments actually can be pretty, and actually at times the physics system can feel natural in some regards - BUT - when it comes to being the actual player in control, none of this ever feels anything remotely natural, every action, interaction, reaction, feels 100% entirely deliberate and forced. It's the controls, the camera, the physics momentum, nothing is ever enjoyable to do.
Like for example, you'd think an inventory can't be too hard to fuck up? But the one in this game is famously dog shit. Theres this awful system where you open up your jacket to display your carried items (kind of cool concept), but in execution its incredibly clunky having to CAREFULLY direct your joystick to the POTENTIAL slot of an item, hit A on the exact right spot, make sure you select it, A again, close inventory. And it doesn't pause the game. So you often need to make a molotov cocktail in a tense environment, only to be fumbling with your crappy inventory/controls and get hit over and over by enemies while you're just trying to throw a plastic bottle at them. What were they thinking!!!!

The story is just barely entertaining to hold the game togeather, although not quite memorable, theres some weird biblical, satanic, paranormal shit going on, but really its just a means to an end, you don't get too invested at all because the characters are all very cooker cutter and not unique. The whole time I just felt like I was playing an even worse Alan Wake clone, not good...

Towards the end of the game it tries to go all 'open world' on you by giving you a chunk of a city to drive around in, only forcing you from progressing the main story until you do essential a fetch quest of 75 items. You have to go around throwing plastic explosive bottles at red tree roots, why? I don't know, I never gave a fuck, I was in awe that the game actually could get this grueling and pain-staking. Just when you think it's almost over, you're at the final stretch, the game gives a big FUCK YOU and makes you waste even more hours tediously driving back and forth, looking for plastic bottles, throwing them at trees, just to get to the next closing chapter(s). Complete shit tier game I mean what the fuck. At a certain part though, after so many, you can go to a DVD styled menu and skip parts, so I obviously did that. You don't miss anything other than a giant timesink. But it's still only available after a certain amount is collected...

The games difficulty starts at piss easy, to eventually becoming gruelingly annoying and frustrating. Not due to lack of skill, but due to buggy mechanics, awful game design, and really obscure/vague scripted triggers and enemy placements. Theres one part where it spawns about 50 enemies in a castle that you have to continuously catch on fire over and over and over and It just had me wanting to reach for the uninstall button.

There's really nothing redeemable here. The only reason to be interested in this would be if you were not actually the one playing it, but watching someone play it, just to watch the cheesy story and laugh at it, otherwise stay away, and whatever you do - Don't play this crap!!!

3/10